Lora Cries...

[From summer 2006]

If there is one thing that I can’t stand, its:

• Someone who is being taken advantage of
• Someone who KNOWS they are being taken advantage of
• Someone who justifies why they are being taken advantage of

Lora sure fit the profile. Dale, Ryan, and I heard one too many times about Lora’s unfortunate financial situation, which ultimately led to some much needed intervention.

“Hey Mike, where are you going?”

“Oh, just to Boston Market with Ryan. We are going to grab something to eat.”

“Is it expensive there?”

“Nah, maybe 6 bucks for some food, why, do you want to come?”

“Sure, we’ll come…”

What followed was the first time I ever saw someone try to haggle with a cashier at a fast food joint. Lora wanted corn without butter for Sehla, something related to her not being able to eat butter, and Lora also wanted only a single slice of turkey…something not offered on the menu. In the end, the haggling paid off, as Lora got a custom meal for a couple bucks. I was always amazed at her ability to get people to react to her appearance of “someone in need of help”.

Anyways, back to the “Lora Cries” part…

While eating in the booth, Ryan and I got to experience another sob session. They were all pretty much the same and they usually got the same response. This session started off like all the others:

Lora – “poor me, I have no money, I can’t buy things for Sehla”

Mike – “where the hell is her dad? Why isn’t he helping more?”

Lora – “he has his own problems. He is depressed as it is. I am not going to make it worse.”

Mike – “Why don’t you make him pay you child support?”

Lora – “He can’t afford it…”

Mike – “tell him to get a job”

Lora – “Its tough for him to find a decent job, his degree is in the arts”

Mike – “Lora, get a reality check here. Look at Ryan. He works 60 hrs a week for 9$ an hour. He is busting his ass and making his own way. Why can’t Seyla’s dad do the same?”

Lora – “He has his own problems. I do not want to burden him.”

At this point, I had heard enough, so naturally I started tug on some strings to make her feel bad about this…

Mike – “Lora, who do you love the most in this world?”

Lora – “obviously Seyhla”

Mike – “So you want the best for her right?”

Lora – “of course Mike, what mother doesn’t want the best for their child?”

Mike – “Here you are, living with a house of misfits, hundreds of miles away from home, struggling day to day to get by, doing all you can for your child. Seyhla’s father sits home, doesn’t work, tries to make everyone feel sorry for him, and you eat it up. Don’t you think this 30+ yr old man should suck it up to provide for his 5 yr old daughter?”

Lora – “You don’t know what he’s gone through mike.”

Mike – “If he’s gone through a lot, then he should know not to abandon his own daughter. Call civil service and make him pay child support.”

Lora – “He doesn’t make enough money…”

Mike – “Dammit Lora, tell him to get a second job…even a third job. If you are going to sit here and tell me that you aren’t going to make him support his own daughter, who you love the most in this world, because you feel bad for him, then I’m going to call you out and say you are a liar. You don’t love her the most in this world, you love him the most. If you loved her the most, you’d try to lessen the burden on her, not on him.”

And then it happened….tears….collapse to ground….more tears….total breakdown of how it was dumb to move to Buffalo, how she’s a bad mother, how hard it is for her….

My intent was never to make her cry. My intent was to get that lazy jack ass father of Seyhla’s to start helping out for once. I often thought how much fun it would be to take a baseball bat to the guy’s knees. He epitomizes the dead beat dad in my eyes. For the record, I had heard countless stories of the dad prior to feeling the need to part my words of wisdom.

Life Lesson: If you want to go through life without anyone placing expectations on you, just get a degree in art.