Marty’s Car Gets Scratched

[summer 2006]

Name: Marty Mcphereson

Occupation: none

Life Goals: unknown

Friends: few

Mental Status: unstable

I’ve seen plenty of scary movies in my day. I always thought that the actors did a great job of actually appearing scared. Seyhla’s face on one particular day showed me a new meaning of terror.

Marty, the jobless man who wastes money as if it grew on trees, had recently gotten a new VW Jetta. The “how? What? Why? etc…” questions rang through the minds of all who knew him. He made the mistake of brining the car to 3900, the place where everyone knows that everything always gets ruined.

As Marty and I sat in the living room, which is adjacent to the driveway, we could hear the faint laughter of Seyhla coming from outside. Marty had instant anxiety since his car was in the driveway and a 5 yr old child was playing out there. He dashed over to the window and gasped. “SEYHLA, do NOT touch my car with that stick.”

I ran to the window to watch the show. Seyhla stood near Marty’s car with a 5ft long stick. It was pretty thin and most likely couldn’t scratch his car, but she stood there with it held over his hood. For a second I thought I saw a demonic gleam in her eye.

It was instantly clear that she knew Marty did not want the stick near the car. It was also clear that she thought it was a game to dangle it over the car to get a reaction out of him. I do not think it was planned on her part to actually touch the car with the stick, but sure enough, she did just that. Marty bolted outside and gave me a sight that I’ll never forget.

As Marty grabbed the stick from seyhla’s hands, she cowered into a ball on the ground and screamed out one line – “Don’t hit me!”

Marty broke the stick in half and came back inside. I wondered if she’d ever been hit before. What could make her scream that? Regardless, Seyhla never dangled sticks over Marty’s car again.

Life Lesson: If you have an unemployed, mentally unstable, quick tempered friend, do not ever let them move in with you. I learned this lesson too late.